But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
