I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
