Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
