I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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