She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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