idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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