I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
