'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
