Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
