Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
