I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
