yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
