i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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