You don't have asthma, your pregnant
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
