its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
