You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize