you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
