last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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