Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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