You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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