new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Boobs speak an international language.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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