I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize