At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
