I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
