i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize