Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
