if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
