if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We need to rekindle our bromance
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
