I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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