Do you still have your period?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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