put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize