Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
