I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
