He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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