yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
