My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
should my penis look like a turkey
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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