I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
