my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
