I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
