you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
