Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
