I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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