Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
