I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
