Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
