Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
