Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We were destined to go to rehab together
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
