i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
