my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
