Sponge bath it is.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
