How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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