How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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