so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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