there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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