News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up under a house in Key West
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