i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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