"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Plan B is the new Plan A
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
