Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
