I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
