Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
