i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
