Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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